Rule # one: He's NObody

I've been at the office for few months and I really need to manage the flow of work, yet I don’t want people to think I'm being bossy, or interfering in their comfort zone, being younger than the team, made them irritated at the mere fact of seeing me…I was trying to take my role, yet doing my best to do it with the least interference… trying to observe if things would flow without me getting into it…. And it didn’t really work out well for everybody, for some it went well… yet needed some "suggestions" here and there… anyway… It was time to really meet him and talk to him about ALL the things that have been falling apart or not done the way it should be… and he does get on my nerves with the way he talks, I think he's rude and I don't like his attitude problem… but I got this wonderful advice from a dear friend of mine, to just imagine that he's nobody! so time comes to meet…. I sit in front of him, thinking " He's nobody, He's nobody"! he starts talking and talking… apparently he has allot to say… he's frustrated… sick of his job, which he's been in for more than 4 years… tired of the whole team… not motivated… and he's blaming it all on himself…but says that started when I came!!! to actually make me say "No its my fault!" which I don’t think is true… he talks and talks… and I'm still thinking he's nobody! I said it enough times inside my head to actually believe it… for a second I felt like the chair in front of me was actually empty and I smiled…. And then the real image emerged the second I heard his voice a bit louder saying " It's not funny, I'm almost depressed from work.!" It really isn't funny, I myself felt like him at one point in my life, and that's when I decided to resign and start a whole new life! That's what people do when they are bored and not motivated after FOUR years! They don’t just stay around to frustrate others and demotivate those who are motivated by coming late each morning and delaying major tasks that delays other team members work and the whole project…. So anyway… back to the honest one to one confrontation… I suddenly feel like he's actually somebody with a PROBLEM… and I'm the HEALER, who needs to listen and acts as if she CARES… so I try to ask questions to check what I can do better in the way I'm managing the team so that he can feel more involved, more motivated… etc… I don’t get answers… I suggest things and he agrees on almost every suggestion I suggested…… I'm in charge.. he's in a deep problem in his life and I'm trying to solve it…. It makes me feel so empowered… . Then its my time to rant about him…. And since it started with a very confronting conversation from his side… I want to say what I observed from him of bad attitude since I came to that office… I rant and rant about the bad attitude problem… the rude way of talking… and the respect that he lacks… then I talk work wise and the delays in work… and the late attendance and the carelessness… and I feel better that I got it out of my chest in a very honest way… and that he listened and for once was tolerant more than ever… for once he was very quiet… for once he was somebody with a mask of nobody where all the male ego becoming invisible to the human eye….

The Young Manager's first confession!! I'm A racist!!

I was hired a very young Manager, of a team I’m not sure all are very happy about it. I have to play the role of a manager 9 to 5 if not more… I end up frustrated, I need an outlet to talk about it, so that I stop frustrating my close friends with my very boring stories of the little human challenges I face in my every working day! My very small boring stories mean allot to me, they are part of a huge transformation in my life, my career and my understanding of people , systems and process and how each affect the other and integrate with the other. It’s about allot of human feelings and about how authority plays a role, and how the role plays authority. This blog is about me as a manager who is someone I’m getting to know… who is someone in the process of learning and surprise all the time. this blog is for me to reflect freely on my lessons learnt and who am I as a manager apart and as part of who I am as a human! Without having to say who I am really!
This blog is done with the intention of talking openly… without having to hide certain issues in the fear that someone who knows my name would recognize I’m talking about HIM and probably INSULTING him! yes I keep saying HIM because the probability of HIM being the reason of a problem is 90%... while the probability of HER being the reason of a problem or frustration is something as close as 10%! I’m racist already! That’s the first thing I knew about myself when I became a manager….